The Announcer's Test

I first heard this MANY years ago, and it made a huge impression on me. Jerry Lewis did this on a talk show, and since I was quite young, it had to be either Merv Griffin or Mike Douglas. Since then, I've heard it from other people on other shows, but I always think of Jerry Lewis doing this. When I wanted to look this up on the Internet, all I could really remember was something “in full battle array” and “corpulent porpoises,” and it was the porpoises that got it for me. You can look this up on youtube and hear Jerry do this once more with great panache.

You start out with “One hen.”

Then you say “One hen, two ducks.”

Then “One hen, two ducks, three squawking geese.”

And it goes on from there…

One hen

Two ducks

Three squawking geese

Four Limerick oysters

Five corpulent porpoises

Six pairs of Don Alverzo’s tweezers

Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array

Eight brass monkeys from the ancient, sacred crypts of Egypt

Nine apathetic, sympathetic, diabetic, old men on roller skates with a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth

Ten lyrical, spherical, diabolical denizens of the deep who haul stall around the corner of the quo of the quay of the quivery, all at the same time.

Alphabet Soup's On KLM

K – Krumhorn

This Renaissance instrument can also be spelled with a “c” although the original spelling is from the German for “bent horn.” It has a very pleasant reedy sound. I’ve always enjoyed music from that time period and from medieval times, both instrumental and choral. If you want to hear some nice little tunes on youtube, use the “c” spelling of the word.

L – Lupines

I’ve always loved these flowers for their beauty. It turns out that some varieties are grown for the seeds which are very nutritious. Ever since watching Monty Python, however, lupines mean only one thing: Dennis Moore!

That infamous highwayman, travelling through the countryside, robbing the rich of their bouquets of lupines and giving them to the poor. Who only wanted food and money. Poor sods…

M - Monkey Puzzle

I first read of this type of tree in an Agatha Christie novel. It wasn’t until we got a computer and I could look up pictures that I found out what it really looked like. Killer, huh? Used for ornamental gardening. Don’t think it would be much fun to climb.

Book Report April 2014

Dream Park by Larry Niven and Steven Barnes

I read this book many years ago, but reading it again was just as enjoyable as the first time. It was written in 1981, so it’s a bit dated as far as tech goes, but I loved it. It’s about a theme park that is basically a venue for serious RPG players in holodeck-like settings. It’s the future, so it’s sci-fi, but it’s also a darn good mystery and who-done-it. I found out that this was a series and there are 3 more books that I now have to track down.

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The Christmas Key by Emily Thomas

Another in the Blue Hill Library series. This was about a mysterious ring found in the Advent Cabinet at church during the pre-Christmas season. Good story line. And I loved the idea of the Advent Cabinet.

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Mr. De Luca’s Horse by Marjorie Paradis

This was a kids book that I’d gotten years ago and finally got around to reading. Great little story. I think a lot of adults would enjoy this as well. A young boy wants to buy the junk-man’s old horse when he finds out that the man is going to retire. The boy does all sorts of jobs to earn money to buy and house the horse. Even though the book is pretty dated (1966) it’s still a good story.

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Goody Hall by Natalie Babbitt

Odd little book by the author of Tuck Everlasting. Quirky story with quirky characters. Written in 1971, so it’s dated, but a good story nonetheless. An out-of-work actor comes to Goody Hall to be tutor to the young master. Just really weird people in this book. Bizarre ending. You gotta read it if you want to know more.

Ode to Appliances (Household Haiku)

Oh washing machine

Today you must be hungry

You’ve eaten my socks

Mighty microwave!

Nuke that burger! Zap those beans!

Feed me! Feed me NOW!

Voracious vacuum

Roaring, keening, consuming

Scares the cats to bits

My darling Keurig

Mornings start with you, my love

Hot, rich, sweet, life’s blood

Alphabet Soup Du Jour GHIJ

G – Griffin

I’ve always loved Greek mythology, and aside from the Pegasus, the Griffin was one of my favorite creatures. The back half is a lion, the front half is an eagle. Pretty fierce critter all around. Wouldn’t want to tussle with one of these…

H – Hadrian’s Wall

Being a total Anglophile, anything Brit is my cup of tea, and you can’t get more Brit than Hadrian’s Wall. I don’t remember when I first learned of this amazing work of stone, but it’s always fascinated me. I’d love to walk along part of this piece of history. Or at least stand by it, since my walking days are pretty much over. I love looking at pictures of it on Wikipedia and other tourist sites.

I – Iris

My grandmother LOVED irises. She experimented with cross-breeding different colors together. Got some pretty weird looking ones, but she enjoyed it. She lived with us, and our back yard was ringed with irises and roses. We always had a vase of them in the house.

J – Jacaranda

We’ve never had a jacaranda tree, but I like the name and the pictures are just lovely.

Book Report March 2014

Asylum by Madeleine Roux

This was touted as being similar to Miss Peregrin’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs. Since I totally loved THAT book, I thought this one would be a good bet. As far as the creep factor went, it was top notch! Loved it! The use of the pictures were OK, but didn’t really have the same genuine feel at the Peregrin book did. This is supposed to be the first book in a series, but I haven’t been able to find any info at all about subsequent books. I would be interested in reading some of this author’s other books.

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Theft and Thanksgiving by Emily Thomas

This is another in the Blue Hill Library series of Christian books. This time Anne prepares for Thanksgiving while trying to discover who is stealing identities from some of the town’s senior citizens.

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Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane

When the movie came out based on this book, it looked very intriguing, bet we never got around to seeing it. I got the book at a sale, and was immediately sucked into the story. I knew a little about what went on in the movie, so didn’t really expect to be surprised. But, wow! This book is so well written that I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! Now I REALLY want to see the movie! Teddy Daniels looks for his wife’s killer at an asylum for the criminally insane. What’s real and what isn’t? Can he trust anyone there?

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Belle Out Of Order by Belle Livingstone

This was an old book that belonged to my uncle. I’d had it for years and just never got around to reading it. It’s an autobiography of Belle Livingstone who was a self-made woman at the turn of the last century. Beautiful, witty, looking for all the good stuff in life. She ran a very successful speakeasy during Prohibition, was married multiple times, and even spent some time in prison when her speakeasy was raided. The book was well written, and I enjoyed the look into a past time in our country’s history. But I was also dismayed at the total hedonism in this woman’s life. Pleasure was her only goal. Having a good time was all she wanted of this world. It left me wondering what was really in her heart at the end of her life. There’s very little about her you can find on the Internet. It appears she was estranged from both her children when they were adults. It all felt a bit sad.

Jan P.A.D. fifth

26. Fun stuff! – The time before last in Fresno, I decided that I was really tired of using Lia’s crappy crayons and would get my own to have there. Lia is pretty rough on her art supplies…Some time back I had gotten the markers at Costco, so all I had to do was buy some new crayons and I was set! I’ve been having a lot of fun with these in the guided journal I’ve been writing in.

27. Something I bought – I was shopping at Costco in December of 2012 and saw this Keurig on sale. It was close enough to my birthday that I said “Happy Birthday to ME!” and bought it. And I have LOVED this ever since. I didn’t know that Marv had already planned on getting me one. Good thing he hadn’t bought it yet. This one was better than the one he had his eye on…

28. Dinner – It was getting a little close to the end of the pay period and I was trying to use up what we already had in the pantry. Mac ‘n’ cheese is always a good stand-by in a pinch and being able to add a can of chicken to it made a pretty good meal.

29. Window – An artsy one for you. This is standing in Sarah’s living room, looking through the cut-out into the guest room where I stay, and seeing the window above my bed. So it’s a window-into-a-window picture.

30. Best invention ever – My clothes washer. LOVE IT!! Marv thought it should’ve been the microwave, but I told him if I had to chose between that and the washer, I would chose the washer. Yes, the microwave is really convenient, but it’s not that hard to cook without it. But I’ve gone through times when the washer was broken and that is a MAJOR PAIN.

31. Polka dot – I had no clue WHAT I was going to do for this one. Then I remembered the artsy postcards I had gotten to use for Postcrossing. I had a couple of these left, so here it is!!

So there’s January 2014 for you in 31 pictures. Hope you liked it…