Friday, January 25, 2013

The Dark Child's Haiku part 2

Sing, Tommy Tucker!
Your life depends on music
Dulcet tones mean food

Twinkling star on high
What are you? Diamond or dust?
Both shine just the same

Nine-day-old pottage
Whether eaten hot or cold
Tastes like crap to me

Miss Muffet eating
Encounters an arachnid
Spider wins this round

Farmer, dell-dweller
Taking wife, child, nurse, cat, rat
Cheese remains bereft

Quo Vadis, Kitty?
Seeking a Queen? Word says you
Dethroned a mouse there

Friday, January 18, 2013

The Dark Child's Haiku part 1

Many years ago, BHP (before Happy Pills) I entertained myself on occasion by writing a lot of drivel. I’ve always loved the form of Haiku writing, and did that quite a bit. Some of it will never see the light of day, publicly, but some of it I think you might find amusing. I rewrote 12 nursery rhymes. Here are the first 6. Next week will be the rest of them.

Alas! Poor Humpty
All to pieces, I’m afraid
Omelets all around

Optic’ly challenged,
Mice chase the shrieking farm wife
Chop! Chop! Now who squeaks?

Shame on Jack Horner!
Scorning his fork, used his hands
What a messy boy!

Bo Peep, sheep tender
Foolishly loses them all
No lamb chops tonight

Mary’s snow-white lamb
Following once too often
Has become school lunch

Thirsty Jack and Jill
Are climbing, climbing, climbing
Alas! The well’s dry

Friday, January 11, 2013

January 2013 Book Report

The Wrath of Fate by “Captain” Robert Brown

I came across this book while researching Steampunk stuff. Had no idea there were Steampunk bands like Abney Park, lead by Robert Brown. I checked out their music and was immediately enthralled. Then I discovered that Brown had written a book giving a sort of back story to the group. The book is a truly rollicking adventure. It chronicles the exploits of the airship ‘Ophelia’ and her crew as they travel through time.
The book is self-published, so there are tons of errors that could’ve been taken care of with careful editing, but it doesn’t matter. I was sucked in to the story so quickly that I didn’t care. Great illustrations, too. When the book ended, I wanted more, and I guess that’s one of the goals. Leave the audience wanting more. Check out their music on youtube, then get the book.
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Killing Kennedy by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard

Like his previous book, ‘Killing Lincoln’, O’Reilly takes you through the history and events leading up the assassination of JFK and the ensuing aftermath. Fascinating stuff. I probably would’ve paid more attention in my history classes if I’d had a teacher like O’Reilly. BTW, I was in 4th grade when it all took place. When the teacher was summoned out of the classroom and then came back in with the announcement, I really didn’t feel much. Just too young.
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A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband by Louise Bennett Weaver & Helen Cowles LeCron

What a lark this book was! It’s a reproduction of a book written in 1917 that gives recipes and homemaking tips for the woman who wants to be a good wife and housekeeper. It’s cleverly written in story form, giving little vignettes of “Bob & Bettina” and their first year of marriage. There’s a set up for a dinner or tea or picnic, etc. and then the menu that was served. Then recipes for some of the dishes followed. It was a cute little look into an earlier time and the wonderful “modern” conveniences available to help a woman keep her marriage a happy one. I had to look up some of the things on Wikipedia and learned more about the era. I found myself wishing more of the story was told about the events in Bettina’s life.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Another Tradition Shot Down in Flames

I recently learned that my cherished German Christmas Pickle is a fraud! I was devastated!

Being of German heritage, I was quite taken with the “German tradition” of the pickle Christmas ornament when I saw it advertised in a mail order magazine many years ago. I’ve always enjoyed collecting ornaments and have enough to decorate several trees by now. Of course I had to get a “real German pickle” for my tree! When Paul and Sarah were little, they would vie to see who would find it first amongst the others on the tree on Christmas morning. And one of the first ornaments I got for Sarah when she married and had her own home was her very own Christmas pickle.

And now I find it’s all bunk….(insert sad smiley emoticon here)

You can look up all the different theories as to just when and how this pickle got itself into such a pickle (har har) by checking out the various sources on the Internet.

I decided that I DON’T CARE….
I’m German. Marv is German. ERGO: my Christmas pickle ornament is GERMAN.

Und das ist es.