I GET IT

I have no idea who wrote this, nor do I remember where I first saw this, but this is GENIUS writing!!! I wish I could write like this! (It’s also funny as all get out…)

 

I get it

You think you're gonna quit your job

Throw on a backpack

Hitchhike to Colorado

Meet some girl who knows the breeds of rocks

Play the spoons in a street music ensemble with her and her old man and her twin flame and a fella name of "Custard Bob" they met outside of Durango during the eclipse

Listen to Custard Bob talk for hours about a friend’s uncle who works for the FBI and gave him a document about chem trails

Follow Bob down the rabbit hole

Come to your senses 2 weeks later standing in a field strapped to a cardboard "bomb" filled with pork n beans and a note taped to it says “ARREST TONY HAWK"

Find out you're in Utah

Find out they robbed you

Find out you have a pitbull now

Go live in a cave in Moab with a dude who stopped using money 15yrs ago

Kiss every single rock climber in Moab at the same party

Steal toilet paper from McDonald's

Charge your phone at McDonald's

Eat 3 meals for $8 at McDonald's

Be asked to leave McDonald's ‘cause whatever Custard Bob got you strung out on gave you the "hippy screams"

Learn how to hop freight in Salt Lake from a genderless dirty kid named Latté

Ride in a boxcar full of air fryers all the way to Portland

Get hooked on what Latté calls "Kansas City Dancing Shoes" someplace east of San Jose

Roll your ankle hoping off the moving train

Watch Latté land it flawlessly then steal your boots

Limp 12 miles to the nearest Walmart

Fly a cardboard sign that says "Bad Advice $1"

Split a kicked down rotisserie chicken with your new pitbull

Hang out at Trader Joe's hoping a woman with a cart full of vegan snacks will see the dog and let you sleep on her couch if you pretend to care about astrology

Wake up to her kicking you out for "inviting Capricorn energy into her home" but really its cause you slept with her roommate

I say do it

You have nothing to lose but your stuff and your teeth most likely

Go. Be. Free.

 

 

Obsolete???

 

Once again, I read an article about stuff that is now considered obsolete in this modern age. To quote a very wise lady: “I DISSENT!!”

 

Books

 

I can’t imagine that books would be on any list other than essential. Seriously. The saying is true: “Reading is FUNdamental!!” And while e-readers are OK, holding that physical book in your hands is what makes my heart happy.

 

DVDs and CDs

 

These might be on the way out, but what if you want to watch an old favorite that ISN’T on Netflix or other streaming service? Sometimes all I want is a cup of coffee or hot chocolate in the winter and watch Cold Comfort Farm for the umpteenth time. And I love CDs.

 

Pencils

 

Seriously?!?!? What if you need to write something down and your pen isn’t working? Pencils ALWAYS work. And if they need sharpening and you don’t have a sharpener or knife, you can always nibble the wood away until you get enough lead to write with. And what else are you gonna chew on if you don’t have that eraser? Chew on a pen and you might end up with a mouthful of ink!

 

Manual can opener

 

The power is out. No electric can opener. You’re starving and you can’t even open a can of soup! And since we have a gas stove, there is no problem with heating the soup up BUT YOU CAN’T OPEN IT UP!! They’ll find you on the kitchen floor, dead from starvation with a can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup clutched in you cold, cold, hands… *sob*

 

Shag carpeting

 

For small rugs, this is fine. Feels good on bare feet. However, as a wall-to-wall covering, this absolutely belongs in the obsolete category. Terrible stuff! Our first home had PURPLE shag throughout the house. *shudder*

 

TV trays (snack trays)

 

Growing up we called them snack trays and I LOVED THEM. They were handy for so many things. They were sturdy, too. The ones in the picture are vintage ones that you can find online, but they are pricey. The ones we have now are nice looking wooden ones. But I miss the decorative metal ones of bygone days.

 

Toe Socks!!

 

 

I read a blog post that talked about toe socks. The writer was very witty about why toe socks are the best things to have on your feet. Letting your toes have autonomy and not feeling like they’re in toe jail. That kind of thing. And it got me to thinking…

 

At various times I’ve had toe socks. I got them because I liked the idea and they were rainbow colored. They were knee highs too. Keep my legs warmer in the winter. What I discovered, though, is that bit of extra material between the toes made the shoes too tight. My tootsies felt cramped and uncomfortable. So I stopped wearing them.

 

After reading this article I decided to try them again, strictly wearing them inside the house. Bypassing the shoes entirely. After my shower at night I like to rub skin cream on my feet. If I get right into bed afterward, fine. But if I’m still up for a while I put socks on to keep my feet clean. So I thought, why not put toe socks on? Walking around the house with them on makes me happy. They’re cute. They smile at me. They have little ears…

 

So I got a pack of the ones in the picture. They weren’t knee high, so I could wear them any time of year. Different colors. I can even wear two different colors if I’m feeling capricious.

 

Now excuse me while I do a little happy dance with my tootsies…

 

Random Thought:

Reasons to bring a bee on a tiny leash to a party:

1) It's a great conversation starter.

2) If you are too shy, you can just talk to the bee.