We all know the song “12 Days of Christmas” and how much we HATE the repetition!! At least I do! I have ALWAYS thought that song should START with the 12th day and then go down the list backward. And over the years there have been some very funny versions. Some of them are OK to hear the whole thing because there are added asides as the song goes on that are pretty funny. I will remark on those that I urge you to find on YouTube and enjoy. So to save your sanity at this frantic time of year, AT GREAT PERSONAL ANXIETY (because I love my peeps) I have looked up many versions of “THAT” song and have started at the end so all you have to do is read (or sing to yourself, I don’t judge) and enjoy the funny. You’re welcome.
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The 12 Gifts of Christmas (by Alan Sherman)
THIS one is worth looking up and listening to the whole song. Hilarious asides!
12 On the twelfth day of Christmas
I'm going to exchange
11 An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television, but
not when you get it home
10 Chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter
9 Pair of teakwood shower clogs
8 Indoor plastic birdbath
7 Pink satin pillow that says "San Diego" with fringe all around it
6 Hammered aluminum nutcracker
5 Statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be
4 Simulated alligator wallet
3 Calendar book with the name of my insurance man
2 Green polka-dot pajamas
1 And a Japanese transistor radio
Merry Christmas everybody!
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The 12 Pains of Christmas (by Bob Rivers)
The first time I heard this on the radio I just about choked, I was laughing so hard. You GOTTA listen to the whole thing! There was too much to write it all down.
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Redneck Version
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven wrestling tickets
Ten of Copenhagen
Nine years’ probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Red Man
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shot gun shells
Two hunting dogs
And some parts to a Mustang G.T.
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Modern version
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true
love gave to me:
12 Selfies snapping
11 Apps a-swiping
10 Uber rides
9 Zoom calls beeping
8 Drones a-flying
7 Streaming services
6 TikTok dances
5 Video games
4 Online orders
3 iPhones ringing
2 AirPods
And a year of memes in my feed!
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Bob and Doug McKenzie version
If you’re a fan of the McKenzie brothers you might enjoy hearing the back and forth between the two of them. It’s still funny just reading it. They only got as far as Day 8 - after that they just argued about donuts.
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eight comic books
Seven packs of smokes
Six packs of two four
Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks
And a beer (in a tree)
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There ya go. Hope you enjoyed this. And hope you sing some of the versions. Or come up with your own!
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