More Words and Snippets

 

From the book by Dean Koontz, “From the Corner of His Eye”

(Good story, maximum creep factor)

“Nolly Wulfstan, private detective, had the teeth of a god and a face so unfortunate that it argued convincingly against the existence of a benign deity.” What a phrase, eh?

 

Ratiocination – methodical and logical reasoning

I first came across this word in a Sherlock Holmes story. The sentence was something like, “by the process of ratiocination…”

Sounds like Sherlock. Cool word. I have yet to find a way to work this into a conversation. I guess I don’t ratiocinate that much…

 

Words I used to mispronounce in my youth:

Pince-nez glasses – These are the type that Teddy Roosevelt wore. I came across the word in a book and at the time didn’t think about the pronunciation. In my mind I called them “pintz nezz”. It’s actually “ponze nay”.

 

Charcuterie board – I didn’t even bother trying to pronounce it. It’s “shar-KOO-teree”.

 

Crudites – I knew what it was, just not how to pronounce it. “KROO-duh-tee”.

 

Au revoir – most people know this word is French for ‘until we see each other again’ or ‘good bye’ and is pronounced “oh revwah”. There are also a couple different ways to pronounce it, but for an American, that one is acceptable. I don’t recall when I became aware of this as a French word for good bye. Pretty young, I think. Probably from watching TV. And I knew the correct way to pronounce it. I had never come across the word in reading, so didn’t know what the word looked like exactly. At some point, though, I did see it, and realized that a family joke had gone on for years and I never knew it. Growing up, whenever someone went out the door for an errand, the person going out would say “Ah River!” and whoever was in the vicinity would repeat back “Ah River!” This went on for YEARS. I had no idea why this was said or what it meant. I even started saying it, either going out or responding to someone else going out. No idea. Once I put 2+2 together and realized it was a joke, I was rather embarrassed that it took me so long.

 

And my all-time favorite - hors d'oeuvres

Of all things, I first came across this word in a COMIC BOOK when I was about 10. It was the oddest word I’d ever seen. I could see that it had something to do with food, so in my mind I pronounced it “hours devours”. Called it that for YEARS. We weren’t the kind of folks that did any kind of entertaining, so this form of food was never in play. I think it was at a potluck at church that I heard someone call them “horse doovers” as a joke.

 

Medieval Parent Magazine - Bathing

 

I came across this picture somewhere in cyber-land and thought it would be a hoot to actually write articles on the various subjects mentioned on the cover of the magazine as if you could purchase it at the checkout line. So this is going to be a long series of blogs, but I hope you will enjoy them as much I did when researching and writing. I’ve always been fascinated about medieval times and what life might have been like for the ordinary citizen. Times were hard, even if you were wealthy, but if you were among the ‘common folk’ it could be brutal. About the best you could hope for was an easy death.

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Article – Bathing: Yea or Nay?

 

The first thing that comes to mind about this time period is how people smelled, and contrary to what some might think, they did bathe. About once a week. It was pretty time consuming, since they had to draw the water, then heat it up. Bathtubs were not the norm. It was more like a sponge bath with a shallow basin. And while soap was used, it was homemade from animal fat and ashes and MAYBE scented with herbs. It was often a communal thing within the family. Some towns had a communal bathhouse, but there was often a bordello on the side as well. And if you really didn’t have any other way to get clean, there was always a river or stream.

 

There was one thing people were warned about: Bathing too often. If the pores were continually open, that was a portal for all the bad stuff floating around and could make you very ill.

 

More questions from the Five

 

A lot of the questions they get apply more to someone in the media. But sometimes they get ones I can answer…

 

What TV show from your past would you want to be rebooted?

That’s a tough one, since my past is REALLY in the past. I’m thinking of childhood, and that was a LONG time ago. A lot of the programs I enjoyed just would not be PC enough for today.

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Mighty Mouse

Obviously, too violent. Although it wasn’t the violence against the filthy mice that angered me. It was Mighty Mouse pounding the stuffings out of the cat! Yes, the cat was rather mean, but that was because he was fighting the filthy mice! NO ONE wants mice in their house! It’s better to have a cat. But I still watched the show, hoping that at least ONCE the cat would win…

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Dennis the Menace

Another one that can’t take place in today’s world. Letting your child go out alone and ramble around the neighborhood? Nope. And Mr. Wilson would probably take out a restraining order against that juvenile hellion for all the trouble he causes that old man. And stay off his lawn!

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Mr. Ed

Obviously, Wilbur has been smoking some of the “weeds” in his garden. No one hears Mr. Ed talking. Only Wilbur. And anytime something goes wrong, who gets blamed? The horse! (Of course) At some point, Carol probably got fed up with Wilbur’s heavy weed use and divorced him, leaving him to live in the barn with Ed.

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My Favorite Martian

They MIGHT be able to reboot this in an entirely different direction. Since Martin never did get his space ship fixed and went home, he could have finally been caught by the authorities and shipped off to Area 51. There, the show takes a serious turn and is no longer a sit-com. “Nephew” Tim gets shot trying to defend Martin from the Feds and is no longer in the story. The scientists have a field day with Martin, running all sorts of tests and learning about his various abilities. Elon Musk gets involved since he’s the only one with enough money to actually be able to fix Martin’s spaceship and take a journey to Mars. All of this is hush-hush, of course. THEN…PLOT TWIST! It turns out that Martin had a little fling with their erstwhile landlady Mrs. Brown…remember her? She got pregnant and had a little hybrid human/martian baby! The scientists go absolutely BONKERS and go after Mrs. Brown and her baby, and just as the feds pull up to her house…THE SERIES IS CANCELED WITH NO RESOLUTION!! Fans storm the studio and burn it down to the ground. The fans build a website with fanfiction to continue the story…

Possible cast:

Tim O’Hara – Benedict Cumberbatch (cameo role)

Martin – Sam Elliott (with special appearance by his mustache)

Mrs. Brown – Janelle Monaé (hums the theme song, but in a minor key)

The scientists – various members of the Liverpool Football Club

The feds – various members of the Toronto Maple Leafs

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Lassie

Finally! A show that can be rebooted with no changes necessary! After all, Lassie WAS the first trans female collie on television…