Would You Rather…(part 2)

 

 

Muffin Man continues…

 

Be able to speak any language OR
Be able to communicate with animals only…  

Given the fact that we have no idea how much coherent activity is really going on in the minds of animals, I would rather speak any language.  

Talk like Yoda OR  
Breathe like Darth Vader…  

All Darth Vader really needs is a c-pap machine, so roll with it, I can.  

Spend the weekend with pirates OR  
Ninjas…  

Considering the history of pirates, given that many are stereotypically male and fairly rape-y, for lack of better wording, I would rather spend the weekend with ninjas.   

Have a mullet OR
A perm…  

I’ve already gone through my mullet phase but I’ve always been annoyed that my mother didn’t pass down the curly hair genes. I would love to change my board straight, Asian hair to curly locks.  

Spend a week on the International Space Station OR  
A week in a hotel on the bottom of the ocean…  

Although I find the concept of space to be very boring, I would rather be bored in the ISS than fearing deadly, unknown creatures in the vast, unexplored ocean floor.  

Go deep sea diving OR  
Bungee jumping…  

We only know a little over 5% of what is beneath the surface of the ocean. Do you really want to know why we know so little? Do you want to see the horrifyingly traumatizing beasts that live in the depths? I would rather risk my bungee cord snapping than swim beside a 7 foot long angler fish.  

Have to sew all your clothes OR  
Grow your own food…  

I could learn to be a seamstress but I would not want to live off of grown vegetation my entire life.  

Spend two weeks stuck in a psychiatric hospital OR  
Two weeks stuck in an airport…  

Although the airport has over priced food and uncomfortable seating, the psych ward reeks of bodily fluids, un-showered residents, and is filled with routine body checks and late night commotion between patients/staff.  

Replace your shampoo with ranch dressing OR  

Your deodorant with garlic…  

I’m not afraid to shave my head again but I could not live with the smell of garlic on me for the rest of my life.