Bring On The Dragons!!

Some of my favorite posts on FB are the ones where you take a sentence or movie title or whatnot and either add or subtract a word and fill it in with something else to make it funny. Or add a word(s) or phrase. The most recent one was to take the opening line of a book and add “and then the dragons arrived.” I thought this was brilliant! Sadly, VERY FEW played along. So I thought I would play the game all by my ownself and phooey potatoes on the rest of ya! (BTW, ‘phooey potatoes’ was a phrase Lia used all the time when she was a toddler to express disgust or disappointment.) I had SO MUCH FUN doing this blog. I can say with a certain amount of pride that I’ve read all the books listed. I will site the source books for your edification…

“The Passionate Witch” by Thorne Smith...
From beyond the polished oaken door of the ladies' room in the offices of T. Wallace Wooly, Inc., came a slight and varied sound that lingered lonesomely in the sunny, empty rooms...and then the dragons arrived.

“Twenty Leagues Under the Sea” by Jules Verne

The year 1866 was signalized by a remarkable incident, a mysterious and inexplicable phenomenon, which doubtless no one has yet forgotten…and then the dragons arrived.

“Dracula” by Bram Stoker

Left Munich at 8:35 p.m. on 1^st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6:46, but train was an hour late…and then the dragons arrived.

“Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank and of having nothing to do…and then the dragons arrived.

“The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde

The studio was filled with the rich odor of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amid the trees of the garden there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac…and then the dragons arrived.

“Sense and Sensibility” by Jane Austen

The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex…and then the dragons arrived.

“The Hobbit” by J.R.R. Tolkien

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit…and then the dragons arrived.

“Nineteen Eighty-Four” by George Orwell

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen…and then the dragons arrived.

“Lord of the Flies” by Willian Golding

The boy with fair hair lowered himself down the last few feet of rock and began to pick his way towards the lagoon…and then the dragons arrived.

“Fahrenheit 451” by Ray Bradbury

It was a pleasure to burn…and then the dragons arrived.

“Slaughterhouse-Five” by Kurt Vonnegut

All this happened, more or less…and then the dragons arrived.

“A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens

Marley was dead, to begin with…and then the dragons arrived.

Owning Your Darkness

I have battled depression all my life. All..My..Life..

I can look back at when I was around 4 years old and not understanding the terrible feeling of aloneness…not loneliness, aloneness. I was uniquely estranged from the rest of the world. Of course I didn’t have these words, just the feeling.

I was always very self-aware. I knew I was different from other kids. They seemed so happy most of the time. So unaware of how crappy life could be. Again, I didn’t have these words, just feelings. I could have moments of happiness with others, but it was very difficult for me to put myself out in a social situation. Most of the time, others would have to approach me. I was more comfortable alone, but knew I was missing something by not having the companionship that others seemed to have without effort.

I was always shy, and being fat and wearing glasses made me a target a lot of times. In 6^th grade a boy came up to me at recess with no provocation and told me I should be the fat lady in the circus. In 7^th grade art class we were making papier-mâché animals and I thought I was doing a pretty good duck. There was another girl making a duck and hers look a bit off and her boyfriend turned to her and gestured to me and said, “She may be ugly, but her duck is better than yours.”

By the time I got to high school I was spending a lot of time trying to figure out a way to commit suicide with no half measures. I didn’t want to end up crippled or a vegetable. I wanted it to be permanent with as little pain as possible. I really struggled with this, as I knew that as a Christian, my life was not my own to take. When I finally realized that suicide was not an option, I was REALLY depressed, as I saw no solution to my life at all. I could do harm by cutting myself, but would wear long sleeves so no one would know.

During all of this, my parents had NO clue as to what was going on inside me. Because both my parents and grandparents (who lived with us) smoked, and I was unable to breathe around the smoke, I spent my life in my bedroom. It wasn’t until I almost was expelled from high school for cutting classes that they had an inkling something was amiss. And mostly it was my mom who was upset about cutting classes. It was an embarrassment.

I started seeing a counselor, but it didn’t do any good. After I dropped out of Chico State and then dropped out of Butte College my parents made me see a psychiatrist, who put me on meds. My dad was extremely embarrassed about it all, as to him, psychiatry was quackery.

After a year and a half, I was stable enough that when I met Marvin at church, I didn’t run away. He realized I was struggling with something and was very gentle. My mom made sure I told Marv I was seeing a psychiatrist so he wouldn’t be fooled and think I was normal. My mom was a full-time alcoholic by then and Marv was a tremendous support.

And that’s about it. Not too long after meeting Marv, my psychiatrist stopped doing private practice. I was still on meds for a while, but at some point I stopped. I was in my 50s I think when I started taking meds again, and have been doing OK since. I have my moments, but I am so much stronger emotionally and spiritually than I was 50 years ago.

So I’m owning my darkness. And if my story helps someone, I’m glad to talk about it. I remember the last time I tried to cut myself and knew for sure that I would never do that again. IT HURT!!! I was so glad, because the other times it didn’t hurt.

THERE IS NO SHAME IN MENTAL ILLNESS!!! Remember that!!

Another Mindless Meme – part the third

Favorite vacation?

The times we went to Eureka and stayed in a cabin. I just love that area. I would love to live there, or in an area like it. Don’t need the ocean so much, but the trees are incredible.

Do you like to sing?

I LOVE to sing!! Unfortunately I stink at it… *sigh*

Ever hit a deer?

No, thankfully. One time when my brother was visiting with his daughter, we all went for a nice country drive. We were on a narrow road somewhere near Table Mountain, I think. A deer leaped over the entire car! What a sight!

What is your shoe size?

Okaaayy…I admit that is an oddly personal question. And no, I’m not going to post a pic of my feet in high heels…In any case, my feet are pretty darn big. Size 10-10.5 depending on the style. And there aren’t many cute shoes that size that I can wear. Can’t wear heels to save my life. I know there are sites online where you can get cute shoes in bigger sizes but I must be able to try them on first. I’m not going to drop $100+ on shoes that won’t fit. I find that a good SAS store will have shoes that will be good for me. Pricey, though.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

I love this kind of question. This is from “The Passionate Witch” by Thorne Smith. It was actually unfinished at the time of his death, and finished by Norman Matson. Here it is:

“You wear underdrawers, don’t you?”

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Book shelves, filled with books. A couple of display cases with some of Marv’s militaria. A calendar. A print of John Muir. A wooden carved eagle plaque that Marv did many years ago. A CD rack. And above the door to the bathroom off the family room is a wooden sign that says “LATRINE” that Paul brought back from Kuwait.

What color is your bedroom carpet?

A truly atrocious 1970s gold. It’s the same as when we bought the house in 1978. Just awful. When the time comes to sell this place, it will have to be replaced for no other reason than it’s hideous. Yuk.