30 Days of Pictures - Day 7

Because of where Christmas fell this year, and because of the chaos of family, fun and frivolity, I didn’t have a blog last week. So…to make up for it, this week’s blog is a bit longer than usual.

A picture of something you wish you could change

I really, really wish I had better knees. I have always had problems with my knees. When I was about 10 years old, I developed Osgood-Schlatter Disease in both knees. For an entire year I was unable to participate in any kind of sports at school. On bad days, I had to wrap both knees in ace bandages. I won’t even go into the ostracism that led to. I was left with large bumps just below the knee caps that made it impossible to kneel. And it was ugly.

About 8 years ago I developed arthritis in both knees, but the left one was much worse than the right. For quite a while I was on a heavy load of pain medication. Then I graduated to using a cane. I was always in pain. Walking hurt. Walking improperly also really messed up my back.

After struggling with it for a couple of years I finally accepted that I needed to have the left knee replaced, hoping it would save the right knee for a few more years. The whole experience was horrific. I have never had pain like I did with the recovery. Plus, this was before the antidepressants, so I was already borderline going off the deep end emotionally. The addition of the pain made it all a hell. I didn’t do the physical therapy as I should have, with the result being limited mobility in my left knee. Getting my socks and shoes on in the morning is an adventure in itself, not to mention pedicures! But it DID help with making the right knee last for a while longer…I told myself that I would go through a GREAT DEAL of arthritis pain before I would EVER go through another knee replacement.

In the last 2 weeks, the right knee has decided that it no longer wants to participate. It’s almost exactly 6 years since the left was replaced, and the right knee seems to think that it’s carried the load long enough. BUT…I now have the antidepressants on my side! HA! I can handle a LOT more pain than I could previously. I went CHRISTMAS SHOPPING with Paula…AT THE MALL while in great pain. I went AFTER-CHRISTMAS SHOPPING with Sarah…AT THE MALL while in even greater pain. I’m back on a heavy load of pain meds, but I just cannot face that surgery and post-op period yet. And while I could handle a cane with ease when the pain was on the left, I haven’t quite gotten the rhythm of dealing with it on the right. So I guess I need to practice a bit…

But God is so good! I have never had to deal with my knees and back at the same time! When the back has been bad, the knees have been tolerable. And the reverse is true as well. Through the last couple of weeks I have had very little trouble with my back. So it’s all good…I just keep clinging to Phil. 4:13. It also helps to remember St. Paul and how little he considered the challenges in his life. I try to be content in all things.