Would You Rather…(part 1)

 

 

First Muffin Man visit of the new year!!

 

Go to a party every night OR 

Be alone on a deserted island for a year straight…  

I would rather go to a party every night due to the fact that I hate sand (Anakin reference) and parties include free drinks. Frankly, my brain is already enough of an asylum for the insanity of my rampant thoughts. Sitting alone with my lobotomized mind would prove to be not ideal.  

Volunteer at a homeless shelter OR 
An animal shelter…  

I have already volunteered for the local homeless shelter in my city as a food server. However, I have a love of animals and I would love to volunteer at an animal shelter.  

 
Give up Netflix OR 
Facebook for a year…  

Being an Instagram and TikTok centered Gen Z kid, I could happily give up facebook.  

 Swim in a pool of Nutella OR  
A pool of maple syrup…  

In my experience, Nutellla washes off of your skin fairly easily compared the annoyingly sticky prison of maple syrup under your fingernails and in orifices.  

Have a personal maid OR 
A personal chef…  

I find cooking to be relaxing. However, I hate cleaning with all of my heart so I would rather have a maid wash my dishes than cook my food.  

Cuddle a koala OR 
Pal around with a panda…  

I am loyal to worldwide marsupials and I find pandas to be discriminatory (I’m kidding, I truly do not have an interest in either of these animals).  

Walk to work/school in heels OR  
Drive to work/school in reverse…  

I am very confident in my walking skills and I don’t have my driver’s license. So truly, the question is whether or not you trust my driving abilities, let alone driving in reverse, to not hit several pedestrians and a few garbage cans.  

Live in a treehouse OR
Live in a cave… 

Caves are safe from the grabby, sticky, snot covered digits of small children so long as I lock off all entrances to my home, whereas treehouses to children are like honey to bees.

 
Be in a zombie apocalypse OR  
A robot apocalypse…   

Zombies enlist chaos and anything can be done in the name of survival, but robotic imperialism smothers humanity with a suffocating sense of control. The first thing I would do in a zombie apocalypse is raid all of the stores I’ve always been too broke to buy things from. Who’s going to stop me? Cannibalistic and idiotic beasts? Nah, but robots, being stingy as they are, would most likely restrict the apocalyptic human rights that tell humans that they can steal all of the useless little gift shop souvenirs if they want because we’re all dying anyway. (I’m not a kleptomaniac I swear)

 

Do I Really Need This??

 

I enjoy reading what other people think I do or do not need in my home or life. Marie Kondo I am NOT. Some of these points I agree with, though.

 

Most of the stuff that applied to me was in the kitchen—

 

All those plastic bags from the store!! Yes, I was guilty of this, but I DID reuse them as liners for my waste baskets. Now that you have to pay for the ones you use at the store, I bring my own bags and buy liners for the waste baskets.

 

Past their prime spices. I did go through mine some time ago and got rid of most of them. My main spices now are salt, pepper, celery salt, garlic salt and seasoned salt. That seems to cover it all quite nicely.

 

Mismatched Tupperware. I was brought up to reuse the empty margarine tubs, cottage cheese tubs, etc. I got a nice set of generic containers with lids many years ago and use those along with the containers that lunch meat comes in. When they start piling up, I do a purge and keep only the ones in good shape that have matching lids.

 

The microwave??!? Seriously? The article says the stove/oven does the same job without taking up valuable counter space. Most homes now have the microwave above the stove, but mine is on the counter. I use it ALL THE TIME!!! Especially in the summer when I don’t want to heat up the whole house.

 

Specialized cleaning solutions. This one I fully agree with. A good all-in-one cleaner will do just about any type of cleaning you need. I also use Bar Keepers Friend. That stuff is amazing.

 

About the only things I could really go through and downsize is the number of mugs and glasses we have. Obviously, all the cat themed ones stay…

 

The rest of the suggestions were pretty much common sense. Wire hangers from the cleaners. Old magazines. Dead plants. Old electronics. Half-used cosmetics that have dried up or crumbled. Pens that don’t work anymore.

 

The only thing that is still a painful thing for me is: BOOKS!! I LOVE my books!! I have gone through several purges in the last few years though. I try not to buy new ones. But it’s hard…

 

Cooking Hacks

 

Stuff to make life easier and delight your friends and family.

 

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this one before, but it bears repeating. When you get to the end of a jar of Nutella, pour hot milk in the jar to get that last bit of chocolaty goodness. Or pour hot coffee in it and add some creamer.

 

Rotisserie chicken every couple of weeks. Give yourself a break. Since it’s just Marv and me, any leftover chicken can be added to ramen noodles for a later meal. I also add a can of mushrooms.

 

Garlic salt and onion salt. You’re going to salt whatever you’re cooking anyway. I also use celery salt on steaks and pork chops (when we can afford them). The only other seasoning I keep around are pepper and season salt.

 

Lemon juice in one of those cute yellow containers. Some recipes call for just a tad of lemon juice and this is so easy. I also put a few drops on my fish fillets or fish sticks.

 

Instant mashed potatoes….I have NO shame in using this. It’s usually going to be covered in gravy anyway.

 

I’m also a big fan of pouch bags of soup, especially potato soup. Add a can of chopped ham and one of mushrooms and a handful of frozen corn and you have a really good meal.

 

I know instant pots are all the rage, but I find the only thing I need is a slow cooker. Best invention ever, in my opinion. Throw whatever you like into one and forget about it for a few hours. You can even make an awesome chocolate lava cake in one.

 

Now…about the picture above of Kitty Forman…WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET THROUGH ONE MORE MEAL!!!