Wedding Registries

 

 

It’s that time of year when a lot of weddings start taking place. Registries are very important. Some have things listed that are practical. Some have things that are just plain fun. Some have unusual things listed. Here are a few things from those lists…

 

A teacher had all the household things already, so her list consisted of classroom supplies and backpacks full of supplies for her students. She lived in a small town and the local paper had an article about it. Perfect strangers came by the reception to leave backpacks at the door. Brilliant idea!

 

A couple did a pet food registry so they could donate the food to an animal shelter that had a pet food bank. Another great idea.

 

A couple had a “family” registry. I would guess there were a lot of relatives that they interacted with on a regular basis. They asked for board games, popcorn, candy bars, etc.

 

More from random lists:

A new cat tower

 

A video birdfeeder

 

Snow tires

 

A mini icee machine

 

Life sized skeleton (?)

 

Extension ladder

 

Nose hair trimmers (?)

 

A very nice/expensive bidet

 

Pokémon cards

 

Camping gear

 

Tools

 

His and hers bowling balls

 

Weird Facts About Me

AKA –things you never wanted to know about me and could not care less about…

 

Favorite planet:

Earth. It’s where I keep all my stuff. Second favorite is Jupiter. What’s not to like? It’s huge and has that cool “red spot.”

 

Favorite pasta shape:

Bow ties. They make me happy. They are also wonderful for crafting angel wings.

 

Favorite outdoor temp:

73° -- maybe a little more if there’s a nice breeze.

 

Completely neutral on:

Whole wheat or cracked wheat bread.

 

Favorite ocean:

Pacific. Looks so cool with a sunset.

 

Donut holes or donuts:

Both. Enough of the holes and you have the same amount as a donut.

 

What’s my “jam”:

Cats, obvi… also blueberry.

 

Theme song:

This changes ALL THE TIME. Right now it’s On Top Of The World by Imagine Dragons. The one that ALWAYS makes me smile and feel good, though, is Light & Day/Reach for the Sun by The Polyphonic Spree. There is no more joyous song than that one.

 

Wanna know anything else about me? Just ask. Keep it clean.

 

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Random Thought:

Why do spiders have to be the thing inside houses? Why can't it be hamsters? Why can't I open a drawer and see a tiny hamster eating a carrot?

 

 

Musings Of A Man With Tiny Wings (and no pants)

 

Oh, why are my wings so tiny? They barely lift me off the ground. Maybe 2-3 feet. That’s it. Not very dignified. I long to soar into the sky. Alas, I cannot. Although I will admit it does make it easy to reach things in the tallest cupboard in the kitchen. My wife will call me, “Prince, I need your reach!” She calls me Prince, for that is my title. As you can see by my crown, which is also on the tiny side. I wanted a larger crown with many sparkling jewels, but alas, none of them fit.

 

You might ask about my attire…when I got dressed this morning, I could not find one single pair of pants. Not one. When I asked my wife about them, she said they were all in the wash and I would have to wait. My legs were getting cold, so I grabbed one of her skirts and put that on. She said, “That is one of my favorites! Don’t spill anything on it!” And she handed me a napkin to spread on my lap while eating.

 

I ask you…a Prince with tiny wings and crown, wearing a woman’s skirt and carrying a napkin…is this dignified? It is NOT! Yet that is what I am reduced to this day. I will not attend any important meetings or see any people at court until I am dressed properly. I know some will talk, maybe even mock my absence. My father (the King) will certainly make remarks. But I will remain in my chambers until I can make an appearance worthy of my high station.

 

So there.

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Random Thought

In your lifetime, you’ll produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools.