Since I’ve Been Gone (and why I left)

A few weeks ago I admitted defeat and said I was leaving FB except for my games and to post the link for my weekly blog. I am still open to private message, but no longer engage openly where others can slam me. I try to post something on Tuesdays that I hope won’t offend, but I never know. I rarely comment on someone else’s posts, unless they are a VERY close friend and I feel safe doing so. That was the biggest reason I left. I no longer felt safe. No matter what I said, it caused offense from either side. And while I’m not ashamed of my beliefs, I just plain got tired of being slammed. And I don’t have to take that anymore. My closest friends know my mind and I don’t have to explain or defend myself. I am safe. I have fought very hard for my mental and emotionally stability and no longer will put that at risk.

The first amendment no longer applies. There is no freedom to exercise religion for Christians. No freedom to speak freely without being called names. No freedom to peaceably assemble.

My creed and religion is an offense.

My race is an offense.

My political views are an offense.

Anything having to do with honoring my country is an offense.

Since spending less time on FB I’ve been reading a lot more. Working more on my altered books. Writing more. Enjoying more peace of mind and heart.

I don’t know if there are many people reading my blog anymore. I don’t really care. I do it because I enjoy writing. I make hard copies so Lia will have something to tell her what her grandmother was all about…good and bad. If I get negative comments either on FB or on the blog site itself, I delete them. If that negates free speech, get used to it. It doesn’t apply anymore.

For those of you who still read my blog: Thank you! If the time comes that I no longer go on FB at all, you can bookmark the blogsite. I will continue to post every Friday.

So for now, I will still visit FB, if for no other reason than to keep an eye on my kids. If it all goes sideways, I will shake the dust off my shoes, get back up on the horse I rode in on and take off toward the sunset. I leave you with the first verse of my favorite poem by Emily Brontë:

No coward soul is mine

No trembler in the world’s storm-troubled sphere

I see Heaven’s glories shine

And Faith shines equal arming me from Fear

Confessions of a Wayward Bookworm

I am ashamed to admit that I did something that I haven’t done in YEARS…I visited the local library! No, I’m not ashamed that I went there. I’m ashamed that it’s been so long since I did that.

From grade school on, I loved going to the library. Both at school and at the local branch. I could spend a lot of time there, browsing for books. Checking out a stack of books and taking them home. If I couldn’t finish them all in the 2 week time period, I would renew the unfinished ones and get a bunch more at the same time. I always had books at the ready.

As an adult I would check out favorite books time after time along with new ones I hadn’t read. As the years went on, the favorites that went out of print were no longer in the library. I started tracking them down to buy. Used book stores became one of my favorite haunts. Also Salvation Army and Goodwill.

As the Internet became a more and more reliable place to find used books, I went to the library less and less. I joined Barnes & Noble online and found a lot of my favorites. And when I’d get coupons, I could buy books at a discount. I also had memberships in Mystery Guild and Science Fiction guild.

I can’t remember the last time I actually stepped foot in the local library. I hated it when they got rid of the card catalog and went to computer only. I would sometimes look for a certain book or subject in the card catalog and find other wonders along with what I was looking for. When it was computer only, you had to have a specific book or subject. I think that might have been the breaking point. When I saw the notice that it was opening up again after lockdown let up a bit, I decided to get a new card and have a look see. Things have changed drastically, and not just because of lockdown. It’s just not the same. But I will still try to patronize the library to show support. Now the library is closed again with curbside pickup only. I’ve started doing that and hope things will change soon.

By the way, I have to plug a couple of my absolute favorite used book stores. The Bookworm in Oroville is outstanding. The folks there are the best. In Clovis there’s a store called A Book Barn. That is a wonderland! Huge inventory. They are also online. When I was going down to Fresno on a fairly regular basis, I would always try to visit A Book Barn. And the people there are great too. Very helpful.

Happy Blogiversary!!

In August 2009 I started switching my blog over from Myspace to the venue it is now. After posting to blogspot I post a link to it on Facebook. The postings on Myspace started in May of 2006 and were sporadic and short. Just blather on whatever topic that ran through my mind. After doing a “real” blog, though, I have tried to be more centered and consistent. I finally arrived at the consistent Friday post every week and have held to that. Over 10+ years now!! Won’t this girl EVER shut up?!? The answer is NOPE.

I always enjoyed creative writing in school. Both for stories and poetry. I can crank out crap poetry all day long. For the more serious stories and poetry, I put a bit more effort into it. I’ve mentioned that in the bad ol’ days of deep depression I was fairly prolific, but very dark. I don’t do as much writing as I used to now that I’m stable. Sometimes I have to really sit down and ponder when preparing a blog. From time to time I have posted some of my stuff from the past, both dark and light. It’s all a part of me. Sometimes sharing something personal is like handing over a bit of my soul.

The summer before my senior year in HS I took a class in creative writing. That was such an eye opener into new ways of writing. I had already filled out the schedule for the classes I would take in the fall, and one of them was art. I decided to change from that one to creative writing, and I’m so glad I did. Pat Wismer was the teacher and I just loved her. We would do our assignments and then one by one would sit by her at her desk and confer on what we’d written. There was one rather long poem I did that I was pretty chuffed with. She thought it was good except for one small part that she wanted me to change. I argued a bit with her about it, but she wouldn’t accept the poem unless I changed it. Well…..that was NOT going to fly!!! I took the poem back and refused to hand it in. You can correct my grammar, spelling, whatnot, but CONTENT??? I don’t think so!!

So here we are. 14 years since I started on Myspace and 11 years on Facebook. Some of it drek, some of it OK, some of it (IMHO) fabulous. Thanks for reading.